Stop! Mary Time.

How many hours do you get to yourself a day? Do you plan some "you" hours in?
Do you have any time to read/journal/craft/watch TV/etc? Or is it all about babies, babies, babies?
When Christian gets home to do you hand the babies off for some "me" time?

Oh gosh, you guys. I've been putting off answering this question for a few days, debating what to say. Part of me wants to just say how I feel right now, which is that I get no time to myself and I'm constantly overwhelmed with babies. The other part knows it wouldn't be fair to Christian or anyone else who helps me out. So I'll try to be honest.


I don't plan any me-time during the day; I don't really try to plan anything during the day. The babies aren't on a daytime schedule, so they sleep when they want to sleep and eat when they want to eat. My day revolves around them. I sometimes wake up and think, "It would be nice if I had time to do laundry today," and then when I have a free moment I'll try to fit it in. I do my best to be flexible, because if I plan on something like free time or accomplishing a chore, and it doesn't happen, I get incredibly frustrated.

The idea of "hours" to myself made me laugh; on a good day I'll get a total of two hours of baby-free time between 7:30 and 5:30 {when Christian's at work}. On bad days, when one baby wakes up just as the other goes down for a nap, I get zero hours. Zero minutes. As the babies have gotten older, and as I've learned to make better use of my time, I've been able to do certain necessary tasks {eating, getting dressed, making bottles} while they're awake. So I can survive the bad days, even if I'm exhausted at the end of them.


I sometimes read, although I usually save that for when Christian gets home and the babies are in bed, so I can enjoy it more. I've stopped writing in my journal {my last entry was supposed to be my birth story, but I never finished}, and I was never much of a crafter. I usually keep the TV off during the day, for the babes and myself, but when I have free time in the evening I often watch.


I used to feel entitled to handing off, not both babies to Christian when he got home, but the responsibility of being in charge. I didn't feel like I could expect him to do everything, but for some reason the idea of having someone tell me what to do instead of just having to do it sounded relatively relaxing. However, it wasn't fair of me to put such a large burden on him. Now we try to share the load.

If I desperately need a nap, he's good at taking over so I have the opportunity. If I have to get out of the house, he's good at making that happen, too -- I usually end up running errands to the grocery store, the library or Target that can't wait until the weekend.

My life has changed a lot since I wrote this post. I still feel overwhelmed at times, but I get through it. I love my babies, and every night I pray that I will find joy in raising them. And I do, constantly.