This Is the Day

This is yesterday.

This is the day when Christian woke me up with a kiss and said, "Our kids are pretty pathetic today." Meaning, they're little fussballs with runny noses and mosquito bites. Meaning, keep the TV on so everyone doesn't go nuts on you at the same time.

This is when Max cried hard at breakfast because I took his blankie away from him. Because no blankies {or toys or objects fished out of the recycling bin} at the table, even if it makes me feel like a butthead. Max holds on strong when he wants to keep something, which just makes me feel meaner. I sang songs to help him feel better, but it didn't do much. You know what did? Yogurt. Yogurt makes so many things better.

This is the day that I thought would be a breeze because Max and Maggie didn't go down for a nap until 10:45. A later nap usually means a longer nap and a shorter, easier afternoon. But yesterday Maggie wasn't feeling well, and only slept for an hour and a half.

This is the day that I tried to color with Maggie again. We got out the markers just as I heard Lucy and Max crying upstairs. Since leaving Maggie alone with markers while I went to get them didn't sound like good parenting, I took the markers away. And that made Maggie sad.

Max woke up grumpy yesterday. When I brought him downstairs, he was crying. Maggie was crying. Lucy was fussing. And that's when I said, "This is the afternoon we leave the house!" Because who can stay sane with three whining babes at their legs? Who can be patient and calm and a good mama all the time?

So this is the day that I packed up my babes and drove away from the stuffy confines of our house. We picked up food. We went to the park. I had to take two trips from my car to the picnic table to get everyone and all the food in one place, but we did it.

It was dreamy in the park. Warm but breezy. Shady. Lucy stayed asleep in her carseat. There was a teenage couple a few tables down having what seemed like a very romantic conversation. Maggie took five minutes to eat each piece of chicken I gave her. Max kept spitting applesauce down his front, but so what? I took his shirt off so he wouldn't have to wear it dirty.

After lunch we played. I sat down on one end of a bench and said to the lady at the other end, "Is it okay if I sit here? It's the only bench in the shade." She let Max play with her son's football but then went to sit somewhere else without saying anything and I thought she was snotty. And then I thought that maybe I was being snotty.

Max toddled over to the sandbox and had so much fun by himself, moving toys around and sometimes putting sand in his mouth. Maggie went over to the sand but then stood at the edge and cried. I couldn't figure out what was wrong; when I went over, she kept making some kind of gesture like she wanted the sandbox to pick her up. She came and played by my bench after that. She pushed leaves through the holes and talked to herself.

I took Lucy out of her sleeper and let her be nakedbaby at the park. I pushed Max and Maggie on the swings because I knew Maggie would love it. This is the day that she did. When everyone was hot and sweaty and slightly sunburned we got back into the car and came home. Christian arrived half an hour later and we rejoiced. I watched Maggie follow him around like a duckling. "Dadee! Dadee! Dadee!"

This is the day that I tried for half an hour to print a picture off our computer, and this is the day that I became infuriated when for so long I couldn't. This is the day that I made Christian promise never to feed our children Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner again.

Yesterday I found out that one of my best friends growing up was in town and didn't call. She's one of those people I miss almost all the time. This is the day I was pretty sad for a while.

When Christian put Max and Maggie down for the night, Lucy was already asleep, so I drove away on an errand of my own. Remember this tweet? The answer is: doughnuts! I walked into the Dunkin' Donuts around the corner and told the man behind the counter I wanted six doughnuts. He said, "Right now if you buy six doughnuts, you get six for free." I said, "That's perfect."

This is the day I ate my feelings, five doughnuts deep. Hooray for playing at the park, one doughnut. Thank you Christian for scrubbing the kitchen clean, two doughnuts. How is Lucy ever going to learn to fall asleep on her own if I keep nursing her to sleep, three doughnuts. My babes are the sweetest and I just love them the most of everything, four doughnuts. Sometimes days are hard and people you care about don't care as much about you, five doughnuts.

This is the day I stayed up way too late and wrote a blog post that I wasn't sure I should publish because both my writing and my decision-making weren't at their best. I decided to publish it anyway. Because take that, yesterday.


  1. She'll grow into falling asleep on her own. I used to stress about nursing to sleep... for no reason, baby sleeps fine now. Don't add one more worry to yourself, just do what you need to get a little sleep and works best for the baby!

  2. i like your honesty here, and i think your writing in this post is perfect. hoping today is a better day! sometimes you just need some donuts..i see nothing wrong with that! :)

  3. It's always just a day right? That's what I tell myself. Just a day. Or just an afternoon or evening. And then it's better. This week my champion sleeper of a baby wouldn't go to bed. So we went for a drive at 9 pm, put in a Harry Potter book, bought mama an ice cream cone from McDonalds and drove around town for 45 minutes. Survival mode has many forms.

  4. I love the voice in your writing. It's so good and honest.

    I am sooooo glad you got out of the house with all of the kids. Tate is like a different baby on days that we are busy and out and about. I should be better about doing things more often.

    I'm sorry you had a sad day, but glad that you had donuts.

  5. Bravo! Love the honesty and love that you took time for you. :)

    p.s. ADORABLE Babies :)

  6. Any advice about nursing your baby to sleep? I do that with my son. And I worry about the exact same thing.