A Few Thoughts

Have you ever loved something so much, and been so grateful to have it in your life, that it made your heart hurt just to think about it? It's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm awake. I'm sitting in Lucy's room and staring at her crib. At how the sheet is all bunched up on the side. And I'm grateful. Grateful the sheet isn't perfectly smooth, because it means a real baby lives and sleeps in there.

She's there now, wiggling and squirming and trying to decide if she wants to fall asleep or eat some more. And my heart aches with gratitude for my children, that they are real, that they are here, that they are mine. I sometimes squeeze Lucy against my chest because I need her close to me, I love her smell and her soft little head and I want to absorb some of her sweet goodness.

I have big, important posts that I'd like to write soon, like Lucy's birth story, and how different our newborn experience has been the second time around, and my thoughts on being a mother of three, but I lack the time. Until that changes, I think I'm going to stop in every once in a while with shorter, whatever-I'm-thinking-at-the-moment posts. So I have a record of these first few months of Lucy's life. So I don't forget the peace a rumpled, twisted crib sheet brings to my heart.

Because it is perfection.


  1. You are so blessed with 3 wonderful babies and it is heartwarming to see you know this. I ache to know this type of love and so absorb it all for me, until my time comes.

    1. Oh, I definitely will! I read this comment shortly after you posted it and haven't been able to get it out of my head since. I truly truly hope your time comes soon! I know it will.

  2. i couldn't agree more. I used to wake up in the middle of the night with my son just because I missed him. He'd still be asleep in his crib and I would pick him up just to smell and hold him close. Motherhood is so amazing. I can't wait to add more kiddos to our family.

  3. She is darling!! Love that you're living in the moment. :)

  4. You should definitely do a birth story post. I love those!!!

  5. I love this post. I totally know what you mean. Sometimes I just watch Tate doing something simple and it makes me well up with tears because he's ours.