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Yesterday was a great day. I was completely exhausted from start to finish, but nevertheless, the day reeked of excellence. As is the case with many great days, it was spent visiting my sister Alice. We talked and watched our kids run around outside, made pumpkin muffins and talked some more. At one point all our children were asleep at the same time. "Hallelujah!" we said. At another point I looked out the window and saw a muskrat eating cabbage in Alice's garden. "Bizarre," we said.

The weather yesterday was sunny, cool, and breezy. After Max and Maggie woke up from their nap and refused to eat lunch, we went outside so Max could eat all of Alice's sidewalk chalk and steal her neighbor's rocks. It was so lovely to sit on her patio, watching Maggie decapitate potted chrysanthemums. But I felt in my heart that I was longing for something. My heart tends to do that when the weather is particularly perfect. {I also get strangely excited during storms. I don't know why.}

I decided, after thinking it over for a minute, that what I wanted was several hours alone with Christian. I wanted us to put on our jeans and our boots, and go hiking in the woods. I wanted to stop at a creek and soak my feet in the water. I wanted to build a campfire and roast hot dogs, make s'mores, and then cuddle with my husband under a blanket. I wanted him to read to me before it got too dark, and then I wanted for us to pack up all our stuff and go home.

Ah, time alone with Christian. Awake time. More than a couple hours in a row time. It's a luxury we haven't enjoyed since before Lucy {the eternally breastfeeding baby} was born. Still, the opportunity will come again soon enough. That's what I keep telling myself. That's what others keep telling me when I can't tell myself anymore. Soon enough, soon enough.

I am happy to know that the thing my heart was wanting was so simple and sweet. I tend to get very melodramatic sometimes when I feel something missing from my life -- questioning my life choices and/or buying more clothes than I can afford. It's easier if I can just pinpoint the one thing and put a name on it. I say, "I want time with just my husband" and breathe a sigh of relief.

Does the weather sometimes make you feel like your heart is going to explode? Or like you want to travel? I almost always want to travel in the fall {but maybe that's just me}.

P.S. The pumpkin muffins we made yesterday were ah-mah-zing. I've already had three this morning, and I'm having trouble not eating the rest of them before Christian gets home. I'll share the recipe soon.


  1. Zoey was impossible to get away from when I was breastfeeding and it really started to wear on me, so I got formula and used it for special occasions when I needed to get out, or get more than 3 hours of sleep. Of course whatever works for you and your baby... I hope you get a break for one evening sometime soon.

    1. I wonder if that would work for us. Did Zoey take formula from a bottle better than breastmilk? Lucy dislikes pumped breastmilk to the point of being offended if we try to give it to her in a bottle; maybe she would like formula better. Really, it would be nice to get away without worrying if she was eating or screaming her head off, but also I'm okay with where we are right now.

      Thanks for the idea!

  2. this is a beautiful post, mary. soon enough, soon enough. steve and i dream of travel, and dates, and all of that stuff. this is a season, and a sweet one, but it is tiring. i met a mom at the park today -- due in december and three year old triplets. thought of you! (similar, sort of, right?)

  3. Mary! I love this. How sweet and how true ring these words, "I am happy to know that the thing my heart was wanting was so simple and sweet."

    And I can surely echo those mothers who tell you soon enough, soon enough. I am sitting in that soon enough place and it is lovely and delight-some to get away with my husband. But oh how I miss the tender feelings accompanied with a breastfeeding babe. A tiny creature who looks to you for everything, and has perfect faith that you will provide.

    Now I drop off people for school, take them to play practices, scouts and church activities. Help with homework, calm fears over dance anxiety, call out reminders to practice instruments, help with hair in the morning. And try to remind myself that this is a short moment also.