1.01.2013

What I Am Is an Optimist


{ image by StefanyAlves }

I've been sitting here tonight, browsing Pinterest for an image that accurately reflects my general mood and writing this post in my head {much better than how it will actually turn out, I'm sure}, trying to find the right words so that this doesn't come across as entirely cheesy and cliche and opportunistic. Because I find myself, for the first time that I can remember, deeply and sincerely in love with the opportunity that the changing of the calendar year brings. I'm excited to set new goals for myself; my heart feels thirsty for achievement.

And maybe that's overly dramatic, but maybe this year I'll stop apologizing for being overly dramatic. Maybe this year, my wildest dreams will come true. It's possible, right? Certainly it's more possible if I believe it's possible, and other similar pseudo-paradoxical motivational sayings.

Am I rambling? I feel like I'm rambling, but maybe this is the year that I stop apologizing for rambling. Maybe this is the year that I stop apologizing for the person that I am, and I just become more of myself. I think that's my overarching goal for 2013: less of doing nothing, being nothing, trying to be other people, and much more of becoming a bigger, better, more ME version of me.

I've also set some smaller, more tangible, more check-off-my-list-y kind of goals. To give me direction and boost my morale. Here they are, both those that I've been thinking about for weeks and those that I'm making up right this very minute:

1. Read a new book each month.
2. Take this course.
3. Re-do our living room and kitchen.
4. Read my scriptures every day.
5. Blog at least three times a week, and {for better or worse} start accepting sponsors by July.

Honestly, I'm a little bit afraid right now. I'm afraid of setting goals, I'm afraid of failing {and with an audience}. Last time I was excited about setting goals for myself, this happened, and I started 2010 feeling more confused and lost from myself than possibly I ever had before. It was terrible, but I know that not trying is worse.

And I'm interested: what goals have you set for yourself this year? Do any of them involve books? {I'm going to write more about my first goal in another post -- there's a lot I want to say.}

P.S. I'd like to thank these two sweethearts for helping me find the courage to write this post.

14 comments:

  1. Failing with an audience. I'm an expert! It's okay. Progress not perfection. Cheers to 2013.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Progress not perfection. Yes yes. Cheers!

      Delete
  2. I love this. I'm trying to work on being a better me, too. I think it's something that we all need to do. Failing is part of do-ing, it just is. Happy 2013!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. Failing is acceptable, not trying anything is not. Good luck with your 2013 too!

      Delete
  3. Mary, I loved this. I love your heart, too. I feel like it's in the right place, which is so important in life, you know?

    You (and Elizabeth and Kate) have inspired me to write my own goals as well. I like how you did 5. It's not too overwhelming. I want to put some serious thought into mine. I'm excited about it, so thank you for writing this!

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I'm excited to read your goals! And yes, I tried not to do too many {even though I thought of more, like keeping the same hairstyle all year long} so I could stay focused on what I felt was most important.

      Delete
  4. No! Don't get sponsors! Blogs get worse after they start being about sponsors and advertisements! I like you too much for that! Look what happened to the content at Nat the fat Rat and the Daybook blog and Love Taza after they got sponsors. Don't do it! You're too sincere for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Anon. Thanks for saying you like my blog; I appreciate that. :) I know what you mean about the content of blogs changing after they accept sponsors & start doing sponsored posts {although I'm a fan of all the blogs you mentioned}. The thing is, having sponsors is something I've been thinking about for a while, and I think it's something I at least want to try.

      I'll make you {and others worried about the same outcome} a deal: I'll try sponsors in the second half of this year, and if I don't like it, or I feel like it's changing how I approach my writing, or if it has any negative consequences at all, I'll get rid of them at the end of the year. I'm looking at it as more of an experiment than a permanent change.

      Delete
  5. Mary, this was great. Exactly how I imagined you would write it out. I have wanted to take that calligraphy course for a long time. Let me know when you do and if you like it!

    Can I also chime in on the sponsors thing? Maybe you'll remember that I had them once upon a time, and then I took them down suddenly and refunded the money they'd given me because I got to a place where I didn't want to answer to anyone in my blogging schedule. I knew we were going to go through some things as a family soon, meaning I couldn't keep up with posting regularly, and so I took them down. I did put up a favorites page though, with links to blogs and shops I love, just because. And it's a happy place for me.

    Sponsors can be worth it though, if you spell out clearly what they can expect from you. You know, I'll be posting only X times a month, is that okay with you? Otherwise, I think most sponsors expect 5 posts a week, and then you feel pressure and things get contrived. I'm with @anonymous on that one.

    But you're classy. You know what you can handle. You'll do this right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, E! I'll definitely let you know about how the calligraphy course goes. {Although I remember making the same promise about that Best Chocolate Ice Cream You'll Ever Eat, and I never gave you the update.}

      And thanks for your advice. I'm taking it to heart. I want to try sponsors, at least for a little while, because it feels like something I need to get out of my system. Keeping it classy, though, for sure.

      Delete
  6. Yay for goals! And yay for a bigger you. LOL!

    You know I gotta have books on my list. I've been embracing the idea that I can read more than one book at once. It's scary (for me) but fun. Plus I am lurving books on tape. Also I really just need to read the classics. My own self has stopped me before from doing this and I'm just going to. This doesn't mean all of them, but at least one.

    Also, meh, get sponsors if you want. I think you've been learning from the big mommy bloggers about what to do and not do. I'll be a fan no matter what. Also I'm biased but whatevs!!!

    You know I love you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, a bigger me. ;) I got an invite to your book club this month. I'm seriously thinking about it... we'll see.

      Delete
  7. There's something so nice about the excitement and inspiration a new year brings! I do have a goal to finish all of the books on my 'to read before the baby's born' list but I'm not too sure if that'll actually happen or not :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You've written so eloquently something I've been meaning to say myself! It's okay to be scared, that's how you know it's worth it ;) Congratulations on your bravery, I look forward to watching you accomplish your dreams. SUBSCRIBING TOO! :)

    ReplyDelete