A Happy Announcement

These pictures were taken about two minutes after Max's birth, which was about eleven minutes after my life changed in the most amazing, miraculous way. Christian and I couldn't be any happier to be parents; our babies are perfect. I kind of thought it would never happen, like the human beings people kept telling me were in my belly actually only existed in my imagination. After a few days of seeing their tiny faces, getting to smell their wonderful downy little heads, and feeling their fingers wrap around mine, it's starting to sink in. I love them so much I can hardly stand it.

P.S. We call the boy-face child "Max."

This Is My Life Right Now

I've been talking to a lot of people recently about being on bed rest. People are interested in hearing about bed rest, and I'm interested in interacting with real-life humans, or basically something other than my laptop. {Even though I love my laptop -- it's a huge lifesaver. And not like a huge candy Life Saver, although that sounds kind of good right now.} So I thought I'd try to explain what life is like for me, 32 weeks pregnant with twins and on modified bed rest.

Point 1: I don't sleep well at night. I get up between six and ten times every night to use the bathroom -- remember how the nurses in the hospital told me to keep hydrated, but also empty my bladder right away? At least it's easier than trying to sleep through contractions. Add in the fact that I'm generally uncomfortable, meaning that I switch my sleeping position a lot. This constant up-and-down-and-roll-over routine isn't very much fun, but it is {I rationalize} readying me for nights with new babies. I'm also grateful that I get to sleep in my own bed, next to my very own husband.

Point 2: Bed rest can be boring and frustrating. People say, "Do you watch a lot of TV? That sounds like fun. I wish I could watch TV all day." While watching TV might indeed be fun for a whole day if you were on vacation, it's not enjoyable as a lifestyle. I try to instead spend my time on activities that are more productive -- crafts I can do from the couch, correspondence, working with blog designs, reading, and cultivating my taste on Pinterest {my new favorite site}. I make to-do lists of things that need to be completed before the babies come, and figure out who could help me with each task. The more active my mind, the fewer emotional breakdowns I experience. I try to remember that if I'm not getting anything else done, at least I'm always gestating, which is the most important thing I can do.

Point 3: I like to get out more than ever. I think you'll understand that staring at the same four walls all day can start to feel a little stale, and I enjoy getting out of the house when I can. My sweet mother-in-law took me to get my hair cut yesterday and then out to lunch, and {even though it turns out I locked myself out of the house in the process} it absolutely made my day. Christian has been very considerate about staying extra-late at family dinner, which we now attend every week, because I want to be around people; I'm trying to convince him to drive me to a friend's house 40 minutes west of Raleigh so I can attend our monthly game night.

Point 4: People are awesome. Christian and I are surrounded by wonderful friends, family, and members of our ward who have been just so kind and supportive. We have dinner brought over at least twice a week, we have family members who regularly come over to visit with me and make sure I'm not going crazy, and friends who offer their help in whatever way is needed. My dad didn't mind the other day when I called to ask a question and ended up keeping him on the phone for 15 extra minutes, because I needed to talk to someone.

I only have a few more weeks to go, and I'm doing it for two of my very most favorite people in the world. Really, it hasn't been so bad, especially when this is my view:

Book of Mormon Goals & Neon Crayons

Christian is doing an excellent job helping me reach our New Year's goal of reading the entire Book of Mormon again before the babies come. He created and printed out a calendar to track how many pages we should have read by the end of each day, and is even letting me color in the days with crayons. You can't tell from the pictures I took {I went more for interesting than informative}, but we haven't missed a day so far!

There's a good chance the babies will end up coming before our scheduled finish, which is set for April 15th. I told Christian he could read me the last chapters as I'm in labor in the hospital, but I think we all know that I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to labor. I might end up throwing things at him if he tries to read to me. And really, as long as we do our best, I'm going to consider this endeavor a success. {Mostly to the credit of my awes-credible husband. I don't brag on him often, but I wanted to take this opportunity.}

One final thing I've realized while coloring in the calendar: I seriously hate neon crayons. I try to pick out the colors I use randomly, while still not using the same ones too often, but I feel like 50 percent of the time I come up with a neon color. And I hate neon crayons. They don't look nice with other crayon colors. Mostly they don't look nice at all. Why does Crayola even make them? I think next time I go to color in a few calendar squares, I'm going to pick out all of our neon crayons and throw them away. And then I'll bias our children against neon crayons.

Christian Took This Picture Yesterday

And I like it. I wanted at least one good picture of me while I'm super-pregnant, and this is exactly what I had in mind. I didn't want to pay a photographer, I didn't want hearts over my stomach, or anything baby-themed. Just me sitting and looking happily pregnant -- I think Christian did a great job. He's pretty good at getting me to smile.

Some Serious Stuff

This is my serious story about the past few days, if you'd like to know what's been going on with me, and why I keep talking about bed rest on my Twitter account. Since this post covers a few days, it's pretty long -- just be aware.

On Monday I was going about my usual day, being pregnant and working on my little blog design business and trying not to call Christian too often. I had in my mind that I would stay pregnant for about another nine weeks, and I was excited that we were in the single digits of weeks left.

Then something happened. I'm not going to say exactly what it was, because there are certain things I don't feel the need to publish on the Internet {like images of my uterus or pictures of my naked pregnant belly}. If you're curious, feel free to send me an e-mail; I don't mind telling people, but I do like to maintain some semblance of privacy. So this thing happened, and I felt like it was something that I should maybe be concerned about, so I called Alice to ask her what I should do. I often call Alice when I feel like I need to talk to someone right away; she's good about picking up the phone. Alice told me to call my doctor. The doctor said to come in so they could check me out and make sure everything was okay.

I had a small panic attack while I was getting ready to go to the doctor -- one of several I would have over the course of the next few days.

Once I got to the doctor's office, around 2:30 in the afternoon, we did an ultrasound and a quick exam. The babies were both fine, with healthy heartbeats, but I was dilated a centimeter. My doctor wanted to be sure I wasn't having contractions, so she sent me over to Rex Hospital. I called Christian and let him know what was going on, then went up and got settled into my room. I had another small panic attack when I saw that I was in a room that also contained one of those hospital baby beds. I really didn't want anything to do with that bed for several weeks. Christian arrived shortly afterward, which helped calm me down.

I was hooked up to monitors, which kept the nurses informed that the babies were still healthy, but also told them I was having contractions that I couldn't feel. Having contractions when you're only 28 weeks along isn't a good thing, and I got a shot to stop the contractions. I got another shot of steroids to help the babies' lungs develop {just in case}, and then I was moved to another room, where it was assumed that Christian and I would pass the night. We ate dinner, we watched some TV, we went to sleep.

I woke up in the night, around 12:30, because I was feeling something I thought might be more contractions. I called the nurses and they hooked me back up to the monitor. Sure enough, I was having contractions that I could feel this time, and they were starting to get painful. I was moved to another room, and put on an IV of magnesium sulfate. The doctor was concerned that my contractions weren't stopping, so she made arrangements to have me transferred to UNC, which has a good NICU {just in case}.

I had another panic attack as I was being loaded into the ambulance and we drove away from Rex. It didn't help that Christian was supposed to be following us and I couldn't see his headlights.

I arrived safely at UNC early Tuesday morning, around 4:30. It was a little funny to Christian and I {just a little, though -- enough to make us smile at each other}, because just a couple days before we had joked about how we would feel if our children were born in Chapel Hill, and if it would be like on 30 Rock {even though 30 Rock isn't funny anymore} when Jack's daughter was born in Canada.

Once at UNC, I was hooked up to more monitors, given more magnesium sulfate, checked out by more doctors. We got a few hours of sleep, until about 7:00, when doctors started wanting to talk to me about C-sections and epidurals {just in case}. When it was determined that I was still only dilated one centimeter, and my contractions were slowing down, I was moved to a different room. My fifth hospital room in 24 hours.

My contractions continued to slow down throughout the day, especially after the nurses told me that I needed to keep myself hydrated, and also go to the bathroom often {full bladders bring on contractions}. I was hopeful that I could go home soon on modified bed rest, and remain pregnant for at least a few more weeks.

We spent the night on Tuesday, and then had an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday morning. The ultrasound was, first, to determine how far along the babies were developmentally {just in case}, and second, to see if my uterus would allow me to go home. It turned out that the babies were healthy, if still very tiny -- just 2 pounds and 5 ounces each -- but my cervix had shortened, from 23 millimeters on Monday to 13 millimeters on Wednesday morning. All signs pointed to a prolonged hospital stay for me.

A little while later, after I was back in my room, a doctor came in and said that since this was my first pregnancy, they weren't sure how relevant it was that my cervix was shortened. If I had a history of pre-term labor, or if I had delivered other babies early, then they might be more concerned. As it was, I could go home on modified bed rest. And I did come home. And I'm so happy to be home.

I'm grateful that these babies are still inside me, because I don't think any of us are ready for them to be born yet. I'm grateful for Christian's company and support; I'm grateful that he has the priesthood and was able to give me a blessing. I'm grateful for the Spirit in my life, and for the continued comfort, peace and reassurance that I've been able to feel over the past several days. I'm grateful for everyone who has showed their love and concern for us. I'm grateful that I can be at home.