1.24.2012

On Discovering Newbaby's Gender


baby bump photos at 17 and 19 weeks

Spoiler alert: We're not finding out if newbaby is a boy or a girl. Or at least, we're not finding out until he or she is born. If you're impatient with this decision {as some have already claimed that they are}, you can place the blame squarely on my shoulders. I came up with the idea, and Christian agreed only reluctantly. In fact, Christian agreed partly because he didn't {and still doesn't} think I would last my entire pregnancy without caving.

But I'm not going to cave. I have my reasons for waiting. The first, the one I share with everyone, is that we don't need to find out this time. We already have a boy and a girl, so we're prepared for either.

The second reason is more personal. I've expressed before that I hope newbaby's birth is different in many ways from Max's and Maggie's. And I do hope. I have the dear, sweet dream that I'll have normal labor, and a normal delivery, and right after newbaby is born, Christian will get to tell me "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" and then I'll get to hold him and look at him and meet him {or her}. And I have faith that it's going to happen, this time.

Everything seemed so precarious with my first pregnancy. We had trouble getting pregnant, and then we had trouble staying pregnant. I remember going into the doctor's office at eight weeks, going into the emergency room at 11 weeks, calling the doctor panicked in the middle of the night at least twice, and then of course my hospital stay at 28 weeks, bed rest, and birth at 33 weeks.

I was worried the whole time that I wouldn't get the opportunity to know my babies. I wanted to so badly, and I sucked up every piece of available information about them, just in case I didn't have the chance later. I loved knowing that I had a boy and a girl inside me. I loved it when I discovered that Maggie got the hiccups often, almost every day. I loved being kicked hard from the inside and knowing who it was. I was desperate for knowledge about them. Every evidence of life and personality was incredibly important to me.

But I feel safer this time. I'm not worried. I'm {dare I say it?} confident that everything will be okay. That newbaby will be okay. That we'll get to keep him {or her}, that I can wait to learn everything there is to know about him. That there will be time later.

My third reason for waiting is the absurdly obstinate and inanely petty reason that Christian doesn't think I can. And so, I insist that I will.


baby bump photos at 20 and 23 weeks

9 comments:

  1. I admire your self restraint and I understand your reason not to just because he told you couldn't! 

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  2. Loved this post.  Go you.  I know you can do it.  I am so happy for you! 

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    1. Thanks, Julie! We're pretty happy ourselves. :)

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  3. Hooray for an easier pregnancy!

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    1. Hooray indeed! I've found that the time passes more quickly when I'm not worried; this has been an extremely short 23 weeks.

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  4. I enjoy reading your post!   I hope that the labor goes as you have planned.   I have thought many times, "willing I find out the gender on the next go round?".   Thanks for sharing! 

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  5. Surprises are so fun! What a fun pregnancy. You look fantastic by the way. :)

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  6. Hurray 7 comments!!  Ok, I guess 2 are responses, but still that's something, right?  I am uber excited that you will find out when he/she is born. I love the idea of Christian telling you too.  Are you going to make sure to tell the doctor and nurses this? Don't want them to spoil it.

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  7. i just found your blog, so now i'm reading back through old posts...your babies are so cute! love your blog. when we decide to have kids i want to wait to find out also, and i think my husband has agreed for the same reason yours did! :)

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