2.27.2012

The Grossest



I have to say, I'm not surprised that having kids has brought along a few messy moments. I just would have guessed, before Max and Maggie were born, that the grossest experiences of motherhood would include dirty diapers. But in my overall experience, that hasn't been the case. {Maybe because we lucked into buying the most blowout-proof diapers ever? We love our Pampers Swaddlers.} Other than the occasional Max-pees-on-something-with-his-diaper-off incident {once hitting his own face}, the gross memories that come to mind have to do with spit up. Two, in particular, are terribly memorable:

- Before I got too pregnant, I used to play a game with my babies where I would lay on my back, position them on my legs, and then lift them into the air, holding them tight under the arms. I did it with a "one, two, THREE!" that went super high. I know I'm not describing this game very well, but just try and picture it anyway, okay? One evening in January I was playing with Max, and he was being so adorable that I added in a part after the "THREE!" where I brought him down and kissed him on the mouth. After playing for a few minutes, I brought him down for a kiss, and he laughed, and then spit up. In my mouth. My first reaction was to sit up and spit it right back out, at which point it went straight down my shirt. And, you know, all around in there. Thinking about it still makes me feel a little queasy.

- One day last week I quickly ran upstairs while the babies were happily occupied so I could get dressed. After throwing on jeans and a v-neck tee {my go-to pregnant outfit, always}, I heard a thunk and then Max started crying. It wasn't a big deal; Max loves to explore, but always has a hard time when he inevitably loses his balance and falls. I helped him recover, and then... found Maggie on her tummy in the kitchen, licking up a puddle of spit up. She also had it all over her face. I assume it was hers, since it wasn't anywhere near Max, but that's still only marginally better than if it had been her brother's. I had to act quickly to keep her from getting it all over her pants as well as she saw me, turned and started scooting toward me.

What are the most disgusting things that have happened to you or that you've witnessed, kid-wise? Can you top my stories? I'd love to hear them!

*image via frames of reading road
If you know the original source of this image, please let me know. THANKS SO MUCH!

13 comments:

  1. Oh gross! I think I threw up in my mouth a little just reading these. The most disgusting thing that happened to me was getting newborn poop all over me when I was changing a diaper. It was everywhere and liquidy and smelled horrible.

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  2. LOL.

    Favorite line? "And, you know, all around in there."

    Grossest thing has got to be Everett's snot. I can handle everything else, but when that stuff starts running and getting in his mouth and there are boogs involved, I start to gag.

    And then I pick his nose for him.

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    1. It's got to be said: spit up between the boobs is just the worst. {That's not the only time it's happened to me, either.}

      Snot is definitely nasty; it's terrible because it keeps coming and coming, and if you aren't diligent about wiping it away, it goes right into their mouths. My babes love to lick it up as it gets to their upper lip. Um, ick.

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  3. My boys are the KINGS of spit up. I was standing in the hallway at church one day, talking to someone, and Charlie spit up all over. It seriously did not even phase me, but the person I was talking to freaked out!

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  4. When Lily was 5 weeks old Wor got shingles and we had to keep Lily away from him because he couldn't even touch her without the risk of passing on Chicken Pox (happened anyways). One night I decided to change a diaper in the dark on our bed as I was exhausted and didn't want to wake up the sick husband. I suddenly felt a warm squirt and before I knew it we had a puddle of newborn poop all over me and our bed. Obviously Wor did have to wake up after all. It was disgusting.

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  5. I was pregnant while babysitting for a friend of mine. Her 3 year old had been napping and not feeling well. She woke up from her nap with a bloody nose. Normally blood doesn't phase me a bit but pregnancy makes things weird. I started walking her into the kitchen to get her cleaned up. And then she sneezed. It sprayed all over the floor, the refrigerator, me, her. It was bloody snot. I gagged the whole time while cleaning up. The 3 year old giggled and said, "Oops!!".

    P.S. My baby is 7 months old and I have yet to get spit up-ed on the face. Some people tell me I'm not a true parent until this happens. I'm okay with that.

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    1. I kind of hate it when people say "you're not a real parent until..." It's such crap. Like all the love you give your child doesn't count until this one arbitrary thing happens, i.e. getting spit up in the face.

      Snot and blood together does sound gross. We've only had snot and baby food sneezed on us so far.

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  6. I have been spit up on, but never in the mouth.

    As I was reading these I was laughing so hard. Steve kept asking what was so funny, I would tell him, and he would say, "Eww Gross!" hahaha.

    Mine has less to do with Tate than yours but I still attribute it to having the baby. It was just a few weeks after we had Tate, and we were terribly sleep deprived. I got up in the night and was going to change Tate's diaper. Steve woke up and kept saying incoherently, "John Earl Jones. It's John Earl Jones!" I kept asking what he was talking about and he was so out of it that he ignored me. He kept doing it and I kept laughing. I started laughing so hard I peed my pants. Like actually, genuinely, have to get in the shower, because I totally peed my pants laughing. I blame extreme exhaustion and postpartum bladder. And it was definitely gross.

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    1. That's hilarious! Also, I hope Steve knows when he's not completely sleep deprived, that it's James Earl Jones. :)

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    2. Apparently in his dream he was very concerned that he had been calling him James by mistake for years.

      My other favorite? Steve woke up and said,"Where's the baby? Wait, how many babies do we have?"

      Tired Steve makes me laugh.

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  7. David has now TWICE, picked M up above his head while playing with her to have her throw up right into his mouth. So gross! I just get the spit up/throw up between my boobs over and over again. I'm gonna start wearing turtle necks just so she can't do that.

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    1. Ha! I think the worst Christian's gotten is spit up in his hair. {He immediately went upstairs and took a shower.} Isn't spit up between the boobs the worst? It's like getting it between your toes, but grosser.

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  8. The grossest thing that's happened to me is that Evie sneezed right in my mouth. But Matt's gotten poo-sploded on. It was so bad, it got through all the way to his leg. He felt so gross, he had to take a shower. I'm so glad that hasn't happened to me... yet! :)

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