Unable to Relax

I've been feeling a little frustrated and anxious lately. Yesterday evening, especially, I found myself downright grumpy. Sometimes when I get grumpy I do the terrible thing of yelling at people in my head. Often I'm not actually angry at the person I'm mentally berating, but I imagine scenarios in which they've done me a terrible wrong so that my rants are justified. No need to tell me that this isn't a good habit; I know it already.

After the babies were asleep and Christian and I were getting ready for bed last night, I decided to take a bath to help me feel better. Usually it's so calming and comforting to sit in the warm water. Only yesterday, instead of just soaking in the tub, I looked at baby pianos on eBay. I don't think that helped.

I think I have a problem with letting go of my to-do list. Blogging is on that list, but even as I sit here typing away, I'm having a hard time not thinking about all the other things I want to get done. Hemming the curtains in the living room, for example. I also have an overload of tasks I want to accomplish before the babes' first birthday:

1. Finish the blankets I started making before they were born and never finished.
2. Paint and decorate their room.
3. Make a teepee to go in the living room as a birthday surprise.
4. Plan their birthday party.
5. Make a birthday video comprising footage from when they were born until now.
6. Add music to the video so that people cry when they watch it.
7. Find awesome birthday presents without spending too much money.
8. Convince Christian that all of the above is worthwhile, also that we should take a family trip to the zoo.

I can feel the stress of everything I want to get done in my shoulders and neck muscles. I can feel it sitting in there right now. And I'm biting my nails because it's uncomfortable.

Any advice on letting go of stress? I'd truly love to hear it.

*photo via Miss Moss


  1. Ah stress...my favorite. I love and hate that you berate people in your head mostly because I'm afraid I might be one of them.

    Let's make a plan that I come over at least once a week day to play with the babies so you can get things done. Also make a list. I love making lists and checking things off.

    Also also, I'm coming over this Saturday and we'll decorate the babies' room. It's happening.

  2. I am awful at letting go of stress. Actually it's contributing nicely to my insomnia these days. I've been trying to exercise more and eat less junk- pretty much the things I don't want to do when I'm stressed. I've also been spending more time playing what I want to on the piano (rather than what I have to), have lowered my expectations about house unclutteredness and cooking fancy meals, and try to look at the positive. Hugs to you! I'm sure the party will be awesome!

  3. I have no advice on the stress thing. Basically, I do the same thing that you do, except I don't keep the thoughts in my head. I actually grump and yell at people (usually people/kids/husband who don't deserve any of it!). As for the birthday, I can't believe they are almost 1!? Also, most of what I remember of Ande's 1st birthday is that he cried, didn't like the cake, and didn't play with any of his new toys until he was much older. So, maybe just buy them 1 or 2 new things each because they are so young, won't really care, and probably won't even play with the toys until they are 2.

    1. Thanks, Lindsay! After writing this post, reading your comment & doing a little bit of thinking, we might skip a huge birthday party {it would be more for me than for them anyway} and do something more low-key. :)

  4. The thing that helps me most with stress is not being so hard on myself when something doesn't get done. If you don't get something done when you want or it doesn't turn out like you want, you're still a good person and no one is judging you. Stress about the things that HAVE to get done, then prioritize the rest. And if your stressful steps aren't making you or someone else happy, then, IMO, they're not worth it.

    Oh, and accept help. Always. Works wonders.

  5. Having only gone to 1st birthday parties and not hosted one... all they care about is the cake and wrapping paper. So let family bring the good gifts and give yourself a break. Also, the zoo will still be there a couple months from now, and teepee's are really just fancy forts which are easily assembled with tables and blankets!

    As far as dealing with stress a friend gave me this advice before I had a baby... pick one to three things that you are going to get done during the day, don't pick 3 big things, just 3 things. This way even if it's just making the bed, cooking dinner, and sewing one side of the blanket you got your list done. It seemed odd to me before I had a baby, and now it just makes it so I don't feel so overwhelmed by my book long to-do list, and my inability to get things done. I just slowly pick away at it.

  6. I constantly let my to-do list overwhelm me. Sometimes something as simple as needing to make a phone call makes me feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

    I wish I had advice for you, but instead I will give you empathy. It gets better, usually after a hot shower. Or chocolate. Or both.