Important Thoughts 2.0

My first thought: Everyone in the world should read Schrute Space. Rainn Wilson makes me forget The Office's abysmal fourth season and reminds me why I fell in love with this show in the first place. Reason: it's hilarious. Dwight is a genius. Behold, his thoughts on Interpersonal Communication and the Introduction of Schrutanese (for the full entry, click here):
We, as a society, have gone backwards when it comes to interpersonal communication. Neanderthals communicated using only grunts and gestures. As time passed on, humans began to overcomplicate language to the point where it is now difficult to accomplish anything because there are too many stupid people and they use too many stupid words. This is why I am proposing the use of a basic universal language for all human beings regardless of race, culture, or physical location.

This language will not take the place of conversation between people you know and trust. It will merely be used for the casual daily interactions with strangers that can become so difficult when words are introduced. If I sneeze, I don’t need to have a conversation about it. Thank you for your blessings, but please stop wasting my time. Also, it’s more polite to say gesundheit. My new language will take the place of these time-wasters and bring interpersonal communication back to its purest form.

My second thought: Dwight is wrong. Now, I know most people think that Dwight is paranoid and has a distorted sense of reality, but I find that I agree with him on most issues. Issues such as: in the wild, there is no health care. Women are terrible drivers. Coffins need thick walls so you don't hear the other dead people. And, most importantly, blood alone moves the wheels of history. However, with regard to the issue of interpersonal communication, I find that the only point on which I agree is that there are too many stupid people. I enjoy conversations that result from sneezing. Also, it's my opinion that the English language needs more words. Case in point: I use the same word to describe my feelings toward peanut butter as I do my feelings toward my fiancé. That shouldn't happen.

My third thought: You know what else shouldn't happen? This.

1 comment:

  1. I think that Dwight is really random, like you - so I understand why he appeals to you. He says things that make no sense while he has a straight face. That doesn't make what he says more intelligent. And, if you ever get scared to come out of the bathroom, Mary, I will come and pull you out. I promise.